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A Troubled Maker's avatar

Now, I have only had a substack for all of 10 days, certainly not enough time to fully know what answers or addresses any inquiries and concerns I have. Having absolute squat for feedback isn't the case either largely due to a rather unique set of circumstances.

I have been quietly (or maybe ineffectively due to barriers of entry which are incredibly varied) both attempting to create public awareness and a public solution to a very open secret. I am a survivor of some very traumatic and catastrophic circumstances and live events. Others with this type of shared experience who have managed to reach an audience managed to do so almost effortlessly as far as I am able to tell. That or they were Paris Hilton. I know that helped contribute to their efforts.

My work is addressing something that is rooted in human and civil rights, injustice, and how a single person has taken that on and been able to achieve some aspect of progress. Not having resources or, well, "privileges" most do made this experience significantly different and one that no one hears. Clearly a hindrance for my own potential but considering the nature of what I am addressing being of public benefit the inability to be hear almost impacts so many others.

Looking at the meet-ups, connections in place for people that allow them to collaborate and have further success, that whole "knowing people" thing is one that an often forgotten percentage of the population will unlikely have unless they luck out.

Unless they are Paris Hilton. (I'm mentioning her specifically for a reason, it makes sense.)

I'm aware of the discourse regarding DEI and how it's being interpreted to dismiss it. That's certainly a very dishonest argument being presented yet I find myself having an incredibly visceral internal conflict in that I have personally recognized how it has either failed to deliver or failed to live up to its promises. That internal conflict only continues to stir when the attempt to address that fails over and over again growing into the bitter irony that what I've just described here is the very example I am presenting.

I would love to promote a book I wrote...but also be able to write one.

I would love to have access to support and grow my audience...but also does that support know why I need it? Pointing me to an existing article in the help section ends up answering that question.

I would love to have this magical "equity" thing be of benefit to me...but it never has been because I've never been heard whether actively silenced or doing this solo from being silenced.

Maybe I am wrong here and still miss the mark but I won't know until someone actually takes the time to talk to me how I know people have had the option of making possible.

I figured out the technical part. I know how to write fairly well, I can make excellent graphics, I know how SEO works, keeping a consistent upload schedule, interacting with an audience, etc. etc. that I was blessed to be able to pick up on my own by some miracle. The support and interaction part and being taken seriously or acknowledged as someone that would more than benefit from being given a few extra steps appears to exist but I cannot tell you what it is.

All I can tell you is that the few people who have shown me kindness and encouragement here already was what fueled the bravery to even address it.

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