Very thoughtful and helpful article! Cuts right to the point: it's all about the why. What is your motivation, is a question a writer can't ask herself often enough. Thank you, Lucy, for reminding me of that!
This was an inspiring read. So glad it was covered here. I, too, started my newsletter on Substack to share about personal life-experiences. At first, the idea of sharing my voice/writing was daunting because I kept thinking it’s too personal and I shouldn’t be sharing personal things on a public platform. I fight with this anxiety with every article I post here. But I do it anyway and tell myself that this is me helping my future self. That makes a bit easier to put my feelings on paper.
Lucy, thank you so much for the sensible advice. I agree that one can be authentic without telling all, and that's what I try to follow. Also pleased to learn of your work, and your use of humor, for all the reasons you give.
Wonderful article. I find that my writing, the deep personal stuff, comes out much as you describe. Dealing with grief and loss can be very raw at this point in my journey. Thank you for sharing your persepctive.
Thank you, Lucy, for sharing. Your writing is powerful and ultimately helpful. I find that many, if not most, people (myself front and center) tend to go through life ignorant of alternate lived experiences and perspectives. We are simply unable to empathize with the Other and it takes real effort to suss things out without a guide. You are that guide for your lived experience and perspective and you help to broaden the perspective--and empathy--of other people. That is both a great gift and a terrible responsibility. You seem to bear it well.
Apropos the various ways of writing about difficult personal topics, I would add that I sometimes find it helpful to write about myself in the third person to begin with. This way, I'm writing a piece about someone else and can distance myself a little. Or write the piece as fiction and then transpose it. FWIT.
Lucy, I am disabled. I have been disabled since February 15, 1976. I was a Special Forces Infantry officer in the US Army with 16 years in service. I had gone through 3 years in Vietnam with hardly a scratch. I was hanged by the neck outside a C-130 (large 4 engine military transport plane). I suffered neck and back injuries and a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). After fighting with the Army to let me stay in they medically retired me with those 16 years. Over the years I have had 19 surgeries. My neck is fused. My back is fused. I have enough metal holding me up that I can't pass through a metal detector without setting it off. The Veterans Administration sent me to law school for my Vocational Rehabilitation. I owned a number of businesses in my time when I was working. What I found worked best for me was that I wasn't going to let anybody or anything stop me from what I wanted to do. I found my limitations and pushed them to the limits. As those limitations changed I changed what I did to match the new limitations. If you never give up and push the limits, always push the limits you will get along just fine! If you allow your disability to control your life, it will! If you can only use your mind and voice, find something that you can use them for in a positive way and fight for those things that you have passion about. Just never stop fighting.
Thank you Stephen, I especially like your talking about going to Law School, and starting a new career. This is very encouraging. Most of what we see and hear in the media is about disabled veterans entering sports. While that is very admirable, it certainly can't be the only solution. Bravo to you for fighting through what must have been a very debilitating experience.
I spent 4 hours at Stanford University today taking tests and answering questions for a study on how people adjust and deal with chronic pain. I am as far to the left as any person they have ever seen, I don't mean necessarily politically, I mean because I have been in chronic pain for almost 47 years. My answer to everything is, "I won't let pain control my life!" I know and understand my limitations but I push and push them until I get whatever I can and a hell of a lot more than anyone ever thought anyone could with my disabilities. For anyone interested a different perspective on most things, completely researched and neither Left or Right, my Newsletter is at stephenf.substack.com
Your stamina is amazing. I live in a Senior Independent living facility, I would not recommend it for someone like you. The older they get (and most are younger than me (89)) they bitch and complain about every little cramp. I am in awe of your 'toughing' it out on a daily basis.
It's all in the head. I haven't changed from 50/60 years ago. I was Special Forces, I think like someone that was Special Forces who ran special operations during those years. I won't accept anything else from me. I don't expect anyone to subscribe to what or how or why I believe what I do. I can only tell you I want people to read me and think about what I write, if you think I'm wrong that's fine! It's like guns, I know you cannot control guns but no one has tried to control ammunition. If some one with an AR-15 can't get the ammunition for the weapon it becomes a baseball bat!
how can my writing impact a range of audiences. i write about meditation, creativity, and zen.
my audience includes people in their early 20s all to people in their 70s. also, people in different parts of their lives. it’s a challenge for sure but always worthwhile to explore.
Lucy, I wrote two articles on Substack so far. I suffered some kind of stroke which affects my cognitive abilities making it more difficult to remember the right words and my memory is worse. Nothing close to what you are dealing with but I appreciate your advice about only sharing what is wise to share. I thank you and will follow you.
Thanks for the advice, it came at the perfect time. I have a personal experience that is uncommon and have decided to write about it since I'm certain others can benefit from the discussion. Yet finding a balance of what to share will be a process. I won't be rushing through it and will reflect back on whether or not some of the information shared will support the piece or clarify a point.
So much food for thought here -- thank you! I am a disabled women who struggles to talk about it publicly. Primarily as self-protection because experience has proven that people don't care -- it just makes them uncomfortable. Also, I am ambulatory, which has contributed to my reluctance to think of myself as disabled -- though my illness leaves me with such little stamina that I've been mostly housebound for nine years. I've decided to dip a toe in the water, and speak about my reality from a financial perspective in an upcoming piece for Bon Appetit. I will see how it's received to help gauge whether that part of my life should be kept separate from my food and recipe writing! x
Hi Rachel, thanks for your comment. I think self-protection is understandable - and important. Nothing is ever worth risking your mental health for. I really hope the Bon Appetit piece goes well! x
Such important and resonant advice: "As a nonfiction writer, you owe your audience the truth, but you don’t owe them the whole truth immediately." A great read, and I'm excited to read more of Lucy's work.
Empathizing with the lived experience of others feels difficult, especially without a guide. With this piece, you've proved that you can be a guide, a guide to show the way, a guide to make us see the alternative vision, a guide to take us beyond our boundaries. Thanks for expanding the horizons of people who have difficulty empathizing with the lived experience of others and for electing to be our guide.
Very thoughtful and helpful article! Cuts right to the point: it's all about the why. What is your motivation, is a question a writer can't ask herself often enough. Thank you, Lucy, for reminding me of that!
This was an inspiring read. So glad it was covered here. I, too, started my newsletter on Substack to share about personal life-experiences. At first, the idea of sharing my voice/writing was daunting because I kept thinking it’s too personal and I shouldn’t be sharing personal things on a public platform. I fight with this anxiety with every article I post here. But I do it anyway and tell myself that this is me helping my future self. That makes a bit easier to put my feelings on paper.
The more personal, real and raw writers go the better :)
That’s very good advice. Will always keep this in my mind while writing.
Lucy, thank you so much for the sensible advice. I agree that one can be authentic without telling all, and that's what I try to follow. Also pleased to learn of your work, and your use of humor, for all the reasons you give.
Wonderful article. I find that my writing, the deep personal stuff, comes out much as you describe. Dealing with grief and loss can be very raw at this point in my journey. Thank you for sharing your persepctive.
Thank you Lucy. Yours is the first article I've commented on, and it's timely, as I'm contemplating writing on Substack.
Thank you, Lucy, for sharing. Your writing is powerful and ultimately helpful. I find that many, if not most, people (myself front and center) tend to go through life ignorant of alternate lived experiences and perspectives. We are simply unable to empathize with the Other and it takes real effort to suss things out without a guide. You are that guide for your lived experience and perspective and you help to broaden the perspective--and empathy--of other people. That is both a great gift and a terrible responsibility. You seem to bear it well.
Apropos the various ways of writing about difficult personal topics, I would add that I sometimes find it helpful to write about myself in the third person to begin with. This way, I'm writing a piece about someone else and can distance myself a little. Or write the piece as fiction and then transpose it. FWIT.
Thanks for your lovely comment. You're right that the responsibility can sometimes be a bit heavy, but I think ultimately worth it.
Writing in the third person is a great idea - whatever creates that all-important distance!
Lucy, I am disabled. I have been disabled since February 15, 1976. I was a Special Forces Infantry officer in the US Army with 16 years in service. I had gone through 3 years in Vietnam with hardly a scratch. I was hanged by the neck outside a C-130 (large 4 engine military transport plane). I suffered neck and back injuries and a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). After fighting with the Army to let me stay in they medically retired me with those 16 years. Over the years I have had 19 surgeries. My neck is fused. My back is fused. I have enough metal holding me up that I can't pass through a metal detector without setting it off. The Veterans Administration sent me to law school for my Vocational Rehabilitation. I owned a number of businesses in my time when I was working. What I found worked best for me was that I wasn't going to let anybody or anything stop me from what I wanted to do. I found my limitations and pushed them to the limits. As those limitations changed I changed what I did to match the new limitations. If you never give up and push the limits, always push the limits you will get along just fine! If you allow your disability to control your life, it will! If you can only use your mind and voice, find something that you can use them for in a positive way and fight for those things that you have passion about. Just never stop fighting.
Thank you Stephen, I especially like your talking about going to Law School, and starting a new career. This is very encouraging. Most of what we see and hear in the media is about disabled veterans entering sports. While that is very admirable, it certainly can't be the only solution. Bravo to you for fighting through what must have been a very debilitating experience.
Fay,
I spent 4 hours at Stanford University today taking tests and answering questions for a study on how people adjust and deal with chronic pain. I am as far to the left as any person they have ever seen, I don't mean necessarily politically, I mean because I have been in chronic pain for almost 47 years. My answer to everything is, "I won't let pain control my life!" I know and understand my limitations but I push and push them until I get whatever I can and a hell of a lot more than anyone ever thought anyone could with my disabilities. For anyone interested a different perspective on most things, completely researched and neither Left or Right, my Newsletter is at stephenf.substack.com
Steve Feldman
Your stamina is amazing. I live in a Senior Independent living facility, I would not recommend it for someone like you. The older they get (and most are younger than me (89)) they bitch and complain about every little cramp. I am in awe of your 'toughing' it out on a daily basis.
It's all in the head. I haven't changed from 50/60 years ago. I was Special Forces, I think like someone that was Special Forces who ran special operations during those years. I won't accept anything else from me. I don't expect anyone to subscribe to what or how or why I believe what I do. I can only tell you I want people to read me and think about what I write, if you think I'm wrong that's fine! It's like guns, I know you cannot control guns but no one has tried to control ammunition. If some one with an AR-15 can't get the ammunition for the weapon it becomes a baseball bat!
I love your comment about ammunition, What a great idea. I'll suggest it to my Congressman, but I'l;l credit you with the idea.
Thank you!
i often find myself facing the challenge of:
how can my writing impact a range of audiences. i write about meditation, creativity, and zen.
my audience includes people in their early 20s all to people in their 70s. also, people in different parts of their lives. it’s a challenge for sure but always worthwhile to explore.
Thank you for your well-written article. Your words are honest, thought provoking and poignant. Bravo!
Lucy, I wrote two articles on Substack so far. I suffered some kind of stroke which affects my cognitive abilities making it more difficult to remember the right words and my memory is worse. Nothing close to what you are dealing with but I appreciate your advice about only sharing what is wise to share. I thank you and will follow you.
Glad you're shining a light on this subject.
Thanks for the advice, it came at the perfect time. I have a personal experience that is uncommon and have decided to write about it since I'm certain others can benefit from the discussion. Yet finding a balance of what to share will be a process. I won't be rushing through it and will reflect back on whether or not some of the information shared will support the piece or clarify a point.
So much food for thought here -- thank you! I am a disabled women who struggles to talk about it publicly. Primarily as self-protection because experience has proven that people don't care -- it just makes them uncomfortable. Also, I am ambulatory, which has contributed to my reluctance to think of myself as disabled -- though my illness leaves me with such little stamina that I've been mostly housebound for nine years. I've decided to dip a toe in the water, and speak about my reality from a financial perspective in an upcoming piece for Bon Appetit. I will see how it's received to help gauge whether that part of my life should be kept separate from my food and recipe writing! x
Hi Rachel, thanks for your comment. I think self-protection is understandable - and important. Nothing is ever worth risking your mental health for. I really hope the Bon Appetit piece goes well! x
PS. I wonder if this piece will help with thinking of yourself as disabled? https://lucywebster.substack.com/p/how-i-found-my-own-disability-pride
I love an insightful newsletter be sure to continue on the journey
Such important and resonant advice: "As a nonfiction writer, you owe your audience the truth, but you don’t owe them the whole truth immediately." A great read, and I'm excited to read more of Lucy's work.
Empathizing with the lived experience of others feels difficult, especially without a guide. With this piece, you've proved that you can be a guide, a guide to show the way, a guide to make us see the alternative vision, a guide to take us beyond our boundaries. Thanks for expanding the horizons of people who have difficulty empathizing with the lived experience of others and for electing to be our guide.