I really like the Spoon theory as someone who had a stroke after lockdown in April last year it makes so much sense I can only do what I can do there is a limit. As I say "MY get up and go has got up and gone" and I have to be realistic that it isn't coming back any time soon unfortunately.
There are definitely some yummy nuggets of wisdom in this piece. Crazy enough, my best energy hack is a “Wim Hof” cold morning rinse. Damn near broke my neck getting out of the shower during my first trial run early last year. Now I’m up to 4 minutes of freezing cold delight every morning.
"Why can’t I stay in the pub all day? Why do I need to sit in a toilet cubicle in silence at a friend’s wedding for 20 minutes to regain some battery charge?" +1!
Great article! I am an ambivert (extrovert mostly, but introvert at times), and I suffer from low energy so I have learned to rest when my body says it needs rest. I enjoy networking meetings and I love interacting with people, but I am exhausted afterwards due to the need to remain upbeat during the entire meeting.
One of the best pieces I've ever read!!!!! Call it the Introvert's Manifesto.
The energy flow definition of Introvert vs Extrovert is a fairly recent bit of knowledge. I wish it had been available when I was younger; could have avoided some really stupid decisions.
Emma - thank you so much for speaking what I've been going through recently. In my younger days I was a party girl but I needed downtime as well. As I've got older I've realised that I am an introvert despite being comfortable being out and about chatting with people. However, since I had covid last year, and suffered fatigue afterwards, some social situations really stress me. I can't bear loud pubs or bars. I'm okay with a group of friends for two or three hours but then I notice that I almost have a panic attack because I just need some quiet. I wonder if since covid I have less energy and tolerance for overwhelm, or less spoons!
Absolutely. I try more and more nowadays to connect to my body. Because it gets me out of my head! It's even become my go-to when I have difficulty sleeping... it's the best way to stop churning thoughts.
Long an introvert who everyone thinks is an extrovert, I found that to put out to the world an energetic connection, I committed to only five hours of good energy a day. Now since having Metastatic Breast Cancer, it has decreased to as little as three some days and if I do more than five, I’m spent for the next day too. By knowing this, I watch my tank carefully realizing it’s better if you don’t drain it completely… but leave some in reserve because you never know what’s coming up!
Thank you for sharing your experience Linda. It so interesting how our tanks will change also depending on what life is throwing at us too. I'm sure many other readers and writers will relate to your experience, thanks again for sharing.
Love the podcast and the question! I've just run out of petrol on several levels while forcing myself to prepare my next publication. I can no longer focus my eyes! thank you for reminding me to listen to my body.
Alas, I was in a Meyers Briggs seminar and testing many yrs ago. I tested most extreme INTJ of the nearly 300 taking the course. My wife of nearly 50 yrs continually belittles this saying I only bring this up as an excuse. Last weekend I was required to go to a restaurant/bar with the wife and her sister. No tables do we sat at the bar. Became packed!!! Guy next to me attempted to engage with me continuously. Was LOUD. Got home after 3 hours and told my wife I would literally rather die than go through that again. I lightened up when texting my grown kids; “Hell on Earth”. Others don’t understand.
Thanks for sharing this Bob, for my partners, this would be his idea of hell too—the noise and busyness and being forced to constantly speak—not fun at all for "intro" or "ambiverts". I'm sure he'd really relate too to what Emma says about enjoying having an extrovert flatmate who would soak up the energy in the room for them. It's really taken me understanding his world as someone who needs time alone/with loved ones to understanding how our (collective) energies differ. Thanks again!
I agree, the 9-5 world is killing our work culture, and makes it where less work actually gets done in the end. It pains me, and I had to get out to literally preserve my sanity.
“Preserving your energy means being unpopular sometimes.” One of the truest things! Thanks for this post-you killed it!
A fellow introvert here. Learning about why people interaction drains me so quickly (unless it's deep and meaningful) was utterly life-changing for me. Add to that a dash of learning about and enforcing boundaries, and life is soooo much more pleasant. I now view my introversion as a wonderful gift.
I can so relate. I'm learning and bending with this concept in recent years myself. I loved the conclusion: "Preserving your energy...means refusing to abandon yourself." Thank you, Emma.
This really resonated with me. This weekend I met some friends that I hadn't seen in a few years. We finally had our graduation ceremony after 2 years of delay because of covid. Although I was happy to see them, I felt so overwhelmed when trying to talk to everyone. Because there were so many, the only possibility was to do small-talk, which I hate. A situation that was supposed to be fun and unique, made me feel bad throughout it. And I felt super guilty for not enjoying it.
Anyway, you have also asked for a question, so here it goes: I have many new ideas of creative things I want to do and try. All the time. But, I know that if don't stick to one, or maybe two, I won't get anywhere. How do I chose? And how do I really stick to it as well?
Emma well done, I learned so much about myself in reading your reflections on you. Especially the sliding scale of preference. Brilliant!
I really like the Spoon theory as someone who had a stroke after lockdown in April last year it makes so much sense I can only do what I can do there is a limit. As I say "MY get up and go has got up and gone" and I have to be realistic that it isn't coming back any time soon unfortunately.
Thanks for sharing David, I know many other writers will relate to your experience too.
There are definitely some yummy nuggets of wisdom in this piece. Crazy enough, my best energy hack is a “Wim Hof” cold morning rinse. Damn near broke my neck getting out of the shower during my first trial run early last year. Now I’m up to 4 minutes of freezing cold delight every morning.
"Why can’t I stay in the pub all day? Why do I need to sit in a toilet cubicle in silence at a friend’s wedding for 20 minutes to regain some battery charge?" +1!
Great article! I am an ambivert (extrovert mostly, but introvert at times), and I suffer from low energy so I have learned to rest when my body says it needs rest. I enjoy networking meetings and I love interacting with people, but I am exhausted afterwards due to the need to remain upbeat during the entire meeting.
I love this - ambivert! A new word for me that describes me! Thanks Catharine!
One of the best pieces I've ever read!!!!! Call it the Introvert's Manifesto.
The energy flow definition of Introvert vs Extrovert is a fairly recent bit of knowledge. I wish it had been available when I was younger; could have avoided some really stupid decisions.
Emma - thank you so much for speaking what I've been going through recently. In my younger days I was a party girl but I needed downtime as well. As I've got older I've realised that I am an introvert despite being comfortable being out and about chatting with people. However, since I had covid last year, and suffered fatigue afterwards, some social situations really stress me. I can't bear loud pubs or bars. I'm okay with a group of friends for two or three hours but then I notice that I almost have a panic attack because I just need some quiet. I wonder if since covid I have less energy and tolerance for overwhelm, or less spoons!
"Our bodies are always in the present moment even if our brain is not". Truer words were never spoken!
The disconnect between the two can be the source of a lot of stress as we push our bodies while they try to recover.
Absolutely. I try more and more nowadays to connect to my body. Because it gets me out of my head! It's even become my go-to when I have difficulty sleeping... it's the best way to stop churning thoughts.
Long an introvert who everyone thinks is an extrovert, I found that to put out to the world an energetic connection, I committed to only five hours of good energy a day. Now since having Metastatic Breast Cancer, it has decreased to as little as three some days and if I do more than five, I’m spent for the next day too. By knowing this, I watch my tank carefully realizing it’s better if you don’t drain it completely… but leave some in reserve because you never know what’s coming up!
Thank you for sharing your experience Linda. It so interesting how our tanks will change also depending on what life is throwing at us too. I'm sure many other readers and writers will relate to your experience, thanks again for sharing.
I found your writing very interesting and thought-provoking, so thank you!
Love the podcast and the question! I've just run out of petrol on several levels while forcing myself to prepare my next publication. I can no longer focus my eyes! thank you for reminding me to listen to my body.
Alas, I was in a Meyers Briggs seminar and testing many yrs ago. I tested most extreme INTJ of the nearly 300 taking the course. My wife of nearly 50 yrs continually belittles this saying I only bring this up as an excuse. Last weekend I was required to go to a restaurant/bar with the wife and her sister. No tables do we sat at the bar. Became packed!!! Guy next to me attempted to engage with me continuously. Was LOUD. Got home after 3 hours and told my wife I would literally rather die than go through that again. I lightened up when texting my grown kids; “Hell on Earth”. Others don’t understand.
Thanks for sharing this Bob, for my partners, this would be his idea of hell too—the noise and busyness and being forced to constantly speak—not fun at all for "intro" or "ambiverts". I'm sure he'd really relate too to what Emma says about enjoying having an extrovert flatmate who would soak up the energy in the room for them. It's really taken me understanding his world as someone who needs time alone/with loved ones to understanding how our (collective) energies differ. Thanks again!
I understand. You are not alone. Background music in bars and cafes drives me increasingly crazy.
I agree, the 9-5 world is killing our work culture, and makes it where less work actually gets done in the end. It pains me, and I had to get out to literally preserve my sanity.
“Preserving your energy means being unpopular sometimes.” One of the truest things! Thanks for this post-you killed it!
A fellow introvert here. Learning about why people interaction drains me so quickly (unless it's deep and meaningful) was utterly life-changing for me. Add to that a dash of learning about and enforcing boundaries, and life is soooo much more pleasant. I now view my introversion as a wonderful gift.
I can so relate. I'm learning and bending with this concept in recent years myself. I loved the conclusion: "Preserving your energy...means refusing to abandon yourself." Thank you, Emma.
Thank you for writing/recording this! Needed to hear it.
This really resonated with me. This weekend I met some friends that I hadn't seen in a few years. We finally had our graduation ceremony after 2 years of delay because of covid. Although I was happy to see them, I felt so overwhelmed when trying to talk to everyone. Because there were so many, the only possibility was to do small-talk, which I hate. A situation that was supposed to be fun and unique, made me feel bad throughout it. And I felt super guilty for not enjoying it.
Anyway, you have also asked for a question, so here it goes: I have many new ideas of creative things I want to do and try. All the time. But, I know that if don't stick to one, or maybe two, I won't get anywhere. How do I chose? And how do I really stick to it as well?