150 Comments
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Jackie Dana's avatar

I was a beta tester for this product, and now I have four husbands. I can’t believe how well it works!

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Bill James-Wallace's avatar

I thought we were keeping it a secret ... 😳

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Mark Starlin's avatar

🤣

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Taylor Williams's avatar

Well done. Great sense of humor (I think).

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Craig Rockwell's avatar

You’ve been quite busy Jackie !…! 4 husbands . Lol wow.

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Apr 1, 2022
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Victoria Ibukun's avatar

This is why people don't invites you for outings

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Phisto Sobanii's avatar

That was a joke.

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Carter Kilmann's avatar

April Fools?

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Elated Pixel's avatar

This is mean, very mean (IT'S APR 1, PPL). Going back to work now, lonelier.

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March Twisdale's avatar

Hey! Just write yourself a “love wanted” Substack essay and get ready to fill your dance card with Zoom Coffee Dates!

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T Van Santāna's avatar

AFD is the worst 😫

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Karen Hoffman's avatar

This would be a great idea IF it were for matchmaking readers with what they want to read. So I could sign up for the service, fill out my likes and dislikes, and it would suggest Substack newsletters that I might enjoy. Might be a great way for some of the smaller Stacks to get some attention. (And yes, I get that the matchmaking part of it is an April Fools joke.)

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Mike Sowden's avatar

AT LAST, MY PATHETICALLY LONELY NEWSLETTERING LIFE IS OVER AND I CAN STOP THIS TERRIBLE SEARCH FOR THE LOVE OF MY what?

*whispers*

Who cares about the date? Can't you see I'm writing a comment, so PLEASE stop interrup

.....

Oh.

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Jolene Handy's avatar

Mike! 🤣🤣🤣

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Clémence Tillerot's avatar

Engiggled again (Yep it’s become a real thing) 🙃

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Jo Petroni's avatar

Lulu this is some damn good writing right here! Read it out loud to my husband, he wants in now :))

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Mike Sowden's avatar

Their exhaustion-reddened eyes met over a Zoom call about analytics dashboard errors.

"Hey girl, fancy a coffee?"

"I've already drunk enough today to give me heart palpitations. But why not?"

"I bet you give great header."

"Uh. Do you talk to every woman you meet like this?"

"I have a very high open rate. If you know what I mean."

"Unsubscribe and marked Spam."

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Stu Tarlowe's avatar

"I have a very high open rate. If you know what I mean." Brilliant! 'Reminds me of when I was in the pantyhose business; I was pullin' down about 200 a year...

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Phisto Sobanii's avatar

Yes, hello. I am a Nigerian prince with a financial problem. Only you can help!

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Jolene Handy's avatar

omg 🤣🤣🤣

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Mike Sowden's avatar

Sorry. 😁

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Jolene Handy's avatar

It’s hilarious! 😂👏👏👏

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Mike Sowden's avatar

SORRY EVERYONE.

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Phisto Sobanii's avatar

YOURE NOT SORRY. DONT LIE.

lmao

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Fei Kayser's avatar

What a cute, sweet, and good idea! I’m married, but am rooting for everyone who’s looking!

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Pixie Seymour 💃's avatar

Pun intended, Fei??

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Mark Starlin's avatar

It would be nice to have someone to stare at while they read.

My pets have no interest in reading.

My turtle just eats his books.

You guys are the best.

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Kathrine Becker's avatar

Forwarded to a friend before I even realized…

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Stu Tarlowe's avatar

Assuming for just a moment that it's NOT an April Fools' joke, the idea is intriguing, and I wish you (and those participating) great success. However, much as I might yearn to find the Martha Gellhorn to my Ernest Hemingway, my past experience with matchmaking services (since long before the internet!) has left me with such a jaundiced eye toward my own prospects with such endeavors that my own response must be "Mr. Tarlowe regrets..."

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Elizabeth Hamilton's avatar

first one believes; then the magic unfolds- right?

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Sarah's avatar

What a lovely idea. I just learned that Tulips are a symbol of enduring love and wrote about it the other day! My hubby's favorite reading preferences are the things I write, so I think that's a good sign. Twenty years, going strong.

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Sarah's avatar

You got me!!

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Bex Sinden's avatar

I was ALL IN! And then -- oh, wait!!! Lol!!!!

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Bex Sinden's avatar

While I’m here...seeking others who are celebrity and entertainment enthusiasts.

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Peter Swanson's avatar

Rhymes with love shack.

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Apr 1, 2022
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Peter Swanson's avatar

Gawd, I'm old!

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Mark Scott's avatar

I went for it. Didn't even think about it being April 1. Filled it out: got matches. The joke must be that you can't change anything once you fill in the blanks—and what you upload (photo) and write (intro) doesn't actually post.

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Phisto Sobanii's avatar

Calling it now: it goes viral and people want it for real.

I mean, c’mon. There are so DUMB fuckers out there. This would be great.

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Lenore Black's avatar

Damnit I always fall so hard on April Fools. I was headed to the link before I saw the comments haha. Edit: *oh wait it works!!*

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Ben @ Substack's avatar

The link works, check it out!

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Apr 1, 2022Edited
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debbie martz's avatar

not bad!

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